Penny vs. The Lump

Penny's tumor is getting bigger much faster than it has been. She does not like to be touched in that area and gets upset if you do. She did not react this way even two days ago. This makes me feel unbelievably sad and, I hate to say it, makes me not want to look at her because every time I do, I start to tear up. I wish there was something we could do. Our vet, last March at their yearly exam, reminded me that our old vet had diagnosed the tumor as two different types of cancer. We never did a real biopsy to find out exactly what it is (just a needle test, which is not entirely accurate)...and I had forgotten that a biopsy had been recommended. I'm afraid to have a test done now because aggravating the thing has the potential to seriously speed up the growth. In a way, it kind of doesn't matter what it is because we can't have it removed at this point. But I wish we knew how it was going to behave from this point on and what we could do to help her through it.

I loathe this feeling of helplessness and the inability to know how it feels to her -- is it causing her pain? Is she putting on a brave face? I know her arthritis hurts her, but the position of the tumor is right where her leg bends up against her side, so she sits funny now to accommodate it. She is such a wonderful little soul and I hate to see her suffer at all, let alone from arthritis, a chronic upper-respiratory problem, feline urological syndrome and now this horrible, horrible lump. She spends most of her time sleeping on the bed, which is difficult for her to get on and off. She purrs all the time and particularly loves lap-sitting (she still asks Neil to sit down so she can sit on him). She is still interested in playing, especially while hanging on to her scratching post. In general, she is still in good spirits and seems content (though she is much less active than even a few weeks ago), but this lump sensitivity thing and faster growth thing are scary.

On the other hand, it has been over two years since I first found the lump...and she's still here! Gotta be thankful for that! I believe that because we have taken very good care of her through good food and lots of love, it has made a huge difference. I just wish I had a magic wand that could make her entirely healthy so she didn't have to deal with any of this discomfort. Alas. I can only hope that we can keep her overall health strong so she can continue to live a good life for as long as possible. So sad.