Last night I went to the grocery store to get yogurt just like I planned. They were still out. Instead of trashing the place, I stormed out in a huff. So I went to another branch of the same store. NO plain yogurt there either (well, they did have plain yogurt but it wasn't the kind I wanted). So I ended up going to Walmart even though I try to avoid going there at all cost. They had the yogurt...but only four containers. I bought two. I got home at 10:15pm.
Why the big demand for plain yogurt? What is going on? It's almost like someone is trying to thwart my attempts to infiltrate my intestine with friendly bacteria! Hmmm.
The people at Walmart at 10:00pm on a Monday night are very interesting. Sketchy, even. I particularly liked the small mob in the beer and wine aisle and the old black man in an ear-flap hat who was standing near the queues holding a package of peanut butter cups and talking at everyone who walked past him.
Gasp! I bet he's my yogurt nemesis! He lured me to Walmart with the last remaining yogurty tubs! And was lying in wait armed with Reeses. Well, you won't get me, you acidophilus-hoarding old man! You won't get me!! I just have to figure out when the grocery store gets their shipment in and I'll go buy my bacteria then, thank you very much. Away with you! Or I will put firm, well-digested food in your silly hat and you'll have to go live in the sewer. Forever! Muah ha ha ha!
(Um, how old am I?)
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